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Hey, look, invisible text at the bottom of the page! Okay, for those of you who have found this, here are some things I've been involved with. If this seems like I'm just shilling to get myself listed on search engines, well, you're mostly right. At least I haven't resorted to just putting in sex terms. Actually, one time I put in the names of a bunch of supermodels and I got a cease and desist letter about that. So you won't see supermodels here, in this invisible text. You won't see dirty pictures, or hairy women, or anything like that. So what else do I do? I go to APE (a comic con); contribute to Shiot Crock (I'm banned from TCJ); I go on TV (local access); I publish; I write; I draw comics and cartoons; I eat delicious food (I'm a really good cook); I write programs; I go on google and see where I rank; I go on hotornot and see if I'm hot or not; I belong to some Yahoo! groups; I'm a star, I've never been in any wars; I'm not a spider, I'm a man, and that's winter, summer, spring and fall. Autumn, I mean. February 4, 2002
This is the first entry in my blog. I just wrote the blog software today, and hopefully it'll allow me to post my thoughts from day to day for your reading pleasure. Stop by often to see what's new!
Note: the "Permanent URL to this entry" link on this first entry actually points to the latest entry. Don't try to link to this first entry. It's boring anyway. Link to the other stuff instead. February 4, 2003
I've been thinking about the whole blog thing.

The weird thing is how on the one hand it's supposed to be so personal, but on the other hand it's available for public view. How easy would it be to post something that you might regret later on? Is there a danger to blogging drunk, or blogging angry? Do people get blog rage?

I wonder if anyone's ever been fired for something they put in a personal blog. February 5, 2003
Okay, here's something that bothers me. A few of the comics on my comics page are longer than one page... Divinity Hill, for example. Yet the second page gets only half as many hits as the first page. So, people are reading the first page but not necessarily going on to the second. So, do they not realize that there's a second page? Or do they not like the comic enough to continue? The people who do continue to the second page seem to like Divinity Hill; its average rating is 4 out of 5 from the ratings form. I just wish I knew what the deal is with the people who don't go on...

Fortunately, I also have web comics up at Modern Tales Longplay, where people presumably know that the pieces are longer than one page. Hopefully, people will get to read some of my stuff there. The guys at Modern Tales are really cool-- they're dealing with us artists in a totally straight-up way, and they seem like nice guys.

Other people who seem really nice:
That's all I can think of for now. More coffee and I will remember more people who have been really cool to me lately. Especially since I just went to the APE up in San Francisco. I'll have to draw a comic about all the weird stuff that went on up there... February 5, 2003
Okay, I'm not going to update this thing twice a day all the time. But during this testing phase, I kind of have to, I guess. February 7, 2003
I went to APE this past weekend. I picked up a lot of great stuff! I haven't read all of it yet. I also get the feeling that I missed a lot-- I'm not sure if I have the new Quagga, for example, and I remember thinking I had picked up Fleep! but I can't find it anywhere. So here's what I have read so far: February 8, 2003
Okay, this is going to seem like a lame story. But here goes.

Our faucet in the kitchen would leak, and because the counter isn't really level, the water would run down the counter and pool up at one end. It would sit there and get slimy behind the microwave. It was really disgusting.

Today, cleaning the kitchen, I saw where the leak was coming from. I was thinking Geez, we can't really afford a plumber right now...

So I whipped out a book of home repair tips. I bought a faucet rebuild kit and a pair of slip-joint pliers. And I fixed the damn sink. Boo yah.

Also bought a picture frame-- my comic from Kitchen Sink is going to be in the art show at Mama Buzz in Oakland the second half of the month. See you there! And don't forget to see my one-man show at Oh! Java Caffe in San Francisco. February 10, 2003
Okay, I've decided to post some poems on this web log. I've been writing short poems for a while now, but I haven't shared them with the world. Here are a few of them.

Old PeopleWhen I was young, I didn't want
Their monkey hands
Touching my food.

Life and Death Are the Same ThingSo shut up.

PoetryTrouble is,
Anyone can do it.

February 12, 2003
I'm working on this minimalist comic for Davey Oil and David Lasky. It's kicking my ass! It turns out to be a lot more work than I thought. It's more work to do a minimalist comic than a maximalist one, or whatever you would call it.

Meanwhile, I'm apparently in the current issue of Deep Tapioca. I guess I should go find a copy. Also Sylvain GTrand said he's sending me the latest L'Horreur est Humaine which I'm in as well. So, what about 106U? Eric Braun was supposed to publish that eons ago, but I haven't seen it. What's going on, Eric? February 13, 2003
I went through a period of time when I would seek out old friends that I had lost touch with. I called a friend in New York, emailed a guy in Japan, and even got back in touch with a family in France that I knew in 1985. Sometimes these contacts lead to being back in touch with the people again, but more often we drift apart after two or three conversations at most. Isn't that strange? The fact that when you lose touch with someone, it's usually for a reason? So, if you pick out a good friend, someone you know well right now, it's possible that you're just in the period of your life where you know that friend. Next year, you may not even know where that person lives, and you may not care.

Okay, here's something else that's pretty weird. You know what site of mine gets a lot of hits? My Pinhole Photography page! Strange. Makes me want to do a comic about how to make a pinhole camera. February 17, 2003
You know the site www.fuckedcompany.com? I think there should be a site called www.fuckedhouse.com. People could post stories about what's wrong with their houses: leaks in the cellar, electrical problems, funky aromas. How about www.fuckedlife.com? I think a lot of people would contribute to that one. I'll tell you what, if you send me stories of fucked things that have happened in your life, I'll post the best ones here. February 19, 2003
On the way to work today, I saw a man standing by the side of the entrance ramp to the freeway. He was holding a cardboard sign. At first, I thought he was homeless and willing to work for food. Then I noticed that his clothes were clean and in good condition. As I drove past him, I read his sign. It said: Modesto In a way, I thought that was more depressing. Here you are, standing out in the rain by the freeway, without even the excuse of mental derangement, and your highest aspiration is Modesto. Maybe if he'd wanted a ride to Grandioso I would have picked him up. February 24, 2003
I've been busier than you-know-what. I've been working on a minimalist piece for David Lasky and Davey Oil's OM, a two-pager for Kitchen Sink #3, and something for TooMuchCoffeeMan. I'm also really busy at work. But I work for TiVo, so it's fun work. I did have time to write a few poems over the weekend, and here they are. Enjoy.

Respirator Prose
Some poems seem like they
Didn't need to be poems at all
But were just written that
Way for effect. Unfortunately
The effect is really like a
Guy choosing his words not
For beauty, but for size, in one
Draft, one breath, to fit
The spaces between forced
Inhalations over which he has no
Control. That's why I call it
Respirator prose.


The Supermarket Man
The supermarket man goes home
Smelling of fish
To his wife who smells of shoes


Things Have A Pedigree
Dogs
Horses
Roses
Orchids
Cheese
I'll take the cheese. February 27, 2003
Poor old Mister Rogers. He was misunderstood by so many people. About 20 years ago, I wrote to him. I told him I'd watched his show as a kid, and that my brother James was watching it-- this was the 80s, so James was the right age.

Mister Rogers wrote me back! In his letter, he told me I am a very special person. So it's official.

Anyway, I hope they'll keep running Mister Rogers' Neighborhood. It's a great show, and I have a great kid who is just about old enough to start really enjoying it. March 4, 2003
Okay, time to make the old blog useful. From time to time, people email me to ask questions about cartooning or pinhole photography. I've even had questions about antique cameras (1920s to 1960s era). So I created a Pinhole Photography Page and I'm working on my Frequently Asked Questions section.

So, what do you want to know? Email me and I'll put answers to the best questions here in my blog (or I'll create a page elsewhere).

Actually, I am thinking of creating comics about how to build pinhole cameras...

I finished the minimalist piece for Lasky and Oil's OM anthology (but haven't heard back yet). Still haven't heard from Zack Soto about whether I made it into Studygroup 12 this time around. I'm pretty sure I made it into True Porn though, and the next issue of Kitchen Sink. I'm told that I'm reviewed in the upcoming issue of Broken Pencil but I haven't seen it. March 5, 2003
There's something that I keep forgetting to post here. I don't remember what it is right now, which is totally frustrating. Tonight, I'll be at home cooking dinner or watching TV, and I'll think of it. Oh, I'll think to myself, that's what it was; I'll put that in my blog tomorrow. But then I'll forget, just as I always do.

One thing I did want to mention: Luna's just over two now, and she's starting to talk quite a bit. She thinks that the word cheese is plural for chee. So when she sees a piece of cheese, she says:

Oh! A chee! March 7, 2003
Okay, this is just out of hand. I really try to keep an open mind and give other people the benefit of the doubt, but President Bush is not the deepest bowl in the cupboard, is he?

Last night, at his press conference, he was answering impromptu questions from the press. But instead of being able to respond off the cuff, and give real reasons for his actions, he was reading off a crib sheet and steering every answer back to the 2 or 3 catch-phrases written on the paper. He didn't even really answer the questions. It was like:
Q:Mr. President, what went wrong to make the rest of the world disagree with you so much that now everybody hates America?
A:Well, Iraq violated Security Council Resolution 1441. So we have to go change the regime.

This morning I was listening to a little bit of the Security Council meeting. Those foreign dignitaries sound so intelligent and reasonable! I want an intelligent leader! Bush sounds like an assistant principal at a parent-teacher conference: I'm concerned about Saddam. He chews gum in class. Did you know that he actually said:

It really would have taken a handful of inspectors to determine whether he was disarming. They could have showed up at a parking lot and he could have brought his weapons and destroyed them.

Either the guy's a wizard with humorous metaphors, and no one in the press corps got the joke, or... he's the joke. March 11, 2003
Did you ever have a big secret, something you can't talk about to anyone? Well, I might have one. Arcadia showed me something in The New Yorker that might be the beginning of a strange journey for us. Strangely enough, it's not cartoon related. And I can't tell you a damn thing about it, dear Blog.

So instead I'll list the other, less interesting things that are happening:I guess that's it. March 13, 2003
Okay, the big secret isn't a big secret anymore. I thought I was gonna have to sue Matt Damon, but I don't. So I can talk about it. It's not that exciting, really...

In 2000, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck had a thing called Project Greenlight, a screenplay contest. I sent in a screenplay called Gas, about two boys who get lost walking around in the desert. Two nights ago, Arcadia saw a thing in The New Yorker about a Matt Damon movie called Gerry. Guess what the plot is? That's right, two guys walking around in the desert and getting lost.

Naturally, we had to go see the movie so that we could decide whether it was too similar to my screenplay.

Well, as much as I would have liked to have Matt Damon buy me a new house, their screenplay is not much like mine. To get from Gas to Gerry you would have to take out a lot of stuff, pretty much all the stuff that makes Gas what it is. Gerry is minimalist, while Gas is more of a black comedy with an emphasis on hallucinations.

Arcadia says that Gas is better, because the characters are better written. Isn't that nice of her? March 14, 2003
I contend that there's no food that doesn't go with either chocolate or cheese. Some foods go with either (bread, for example) and some go with both at the same time (chicken with cheese and a chocolate-based sauce. No, really.), but I can't think of anything that doesn't work with one or the other, at least. Can you? March 15, 2003
I'm in LA right now. It's raining. I can only imagine the storm that must be raging in San Jose, and I'm really paranoid about the house. I know there are a few places that leak... and I can't do a thing about it from here. Hope things are OK when we get back. March 17, 2003
Well, the house was okay. It didn't seem to have leaked at all-- weird, but I'm not complaining. Whew!

The process of moving out to the garage is going well. My drawing table is out there, and I'm working on organizing the storage so that I have my art supplies arranged conveniently.

What can I say, it's Monday. I don't have to be interesting on a Monday. March 24, 2003
What the hell is going on here? What happened to civil disagreement? There's this whole "Well, we're at war now, so we gotta be for the war" mentality. And dissing the French merely for disagreeing with us is totally backward. I love my country, but I hate what's going on here. This place was built on freedom of speech, wasn't it? What happened? March 25, 2003
Today I'm tired. I came to work early. Last night I was up late. I'm writing a whole bunch of new Stymied strips, and I have a ton of other projects to work on as well. I'm so behind in my drawing, it's not even funny. Not much to say today. March 30, 2003
Okay, finally. After all these years, I did it. I bought a sailboat. It's just a little Sunfish. It's a bit rough-- I don't know, I probably should replace the rudder and tiller, and there are a couple dings in the hull, but I think it's in running condition. Came with a trailer, too. Guess this is gonna be a good Summer... March 31, 2003
How was my weekend?

That's how my weekend was. Yup, I bought a boat. I've wanted one lo these 20 years, and now I've got one. Looks like I'm going to be learning about boat repair! April 1, 2003
Like all web pages these days, mine tells me how people found my site. I figured I would share. A bunch of people come here from my pinhole photography page. Others come here from comic sites that link to me. But do you know where lots and lots of people come from? They're searching for erotic comics and my name comes up. Wacky. Arcadia suggested I should draw some dirty comics and charge a small fee to view them. What say you, good people?

Seriously, though, I'm far too busy. I've got to do something for Big Dumb Fun and I'm trying for the SPX book this year... and of course a bunch of Stymied strips, and roughly 50 illustrations for someone's web site, and web programming for someone else... and something for Delaine for the fall, and Monsters for Toby Craig, and of course I have to do something for my own next anthology.

I dunno... dirty pictures? Erotic art? Should I? April 2, 2003
I finally got Shiot Crock VI in the mail. I can't post on the TCJ forum this time, so I'll do the review here. For those who don't know what Shiot Crock is, go to www.shiotcrock.com and then you'll know. Now, on with the review.

First of all, may I say, best binding ever! The fact that you can open it all the way and hold it in one hand made it really easy to read while I was driving home from work. Brian, nice job! I loved your editorial too.

Mooktard The cover was great. The duct tape was of course a nice touch, and putting Number 6 on the back cover was cool.
Stephen Block It took me a while to get the Cheshire Cat thing, because of the quality of the photocopy, but once I got it I got it.
Bill Boichel I was looking for an ending. I didn't know what was going on. And I kind of wanted Betty and Veronica to start making out.
Jeffrey Brown Okay, I guess I was right the first time about the name of the other comic I read by you (see my APE reviews). I like your artwork! I like your humor! I liked the "behind the scenes" part on the reverse page! But I didn't undersatnd the comic.
M. Campos Pretty cool. I like your VOI submission better, maybe because I don't know enough about D. C.
Casey Casein Not a comic, but cool just the same. Nice artwork.
Stacy Chbosky Funny story!
Yakov Chodosh I had almost entirely no idea what was going on in this comic... but it was somewhat diverting just the same.
Justin Colussy-Estes I'm not sure what this is about. It seems to be photocopied characters from Marvel Comics, drawn by Jack Kirby, with computer lettering added to make them say something different.
Peter S. Conrad This is me.
Marco DiLeonardo The secret to enjoying life is to chase each other around in a city and shoot at each other.
Shane Durgee Wow, this was like a tone poem. Very "stream of consciousness."
Scott Ewen I liked the one about the guy in the comic book store. Very familiar experience.
Evan Forsch Didn't know what was going on-- a lot of backstory that I didn't quite get.
Mike Getsiv A couple of these I didn't understand. But I liked them anyway. I liked the one I saw in TMCM, and I LOVED the one where the guy has been shot.
Tatiana Gill True story comics are always neato, and this one is no exception. Made me want to try Atavan.
Jenny Gonzalez I didn't seem to have anything from Jenny Gonzales in here.
Patrick Iaconis Interesting character studies. And then Eminem and Julia Roberts.
Patrick Joseph Is she really saying "Viola?" Or "Voila?"
Tim Kelly Okay, this one, for real, I had no idea what was happening.
Betsy Kelso This one too. I'm not big on photocopied heads.
Linda Kietze Again, not too big on photocopied heads. Are the little pictures from the Man's Body and Woman's Body books they give out in college?
Klopner I totally dug the color cover. I liked the detective story too.
Dean LeCrone You know, I wasn't with ya there... but you wore me down. By the end, I was laughing. Nice job!
Jasen Lex I had no idea what was happening, but this was a visually beautiful comic. Is he kicking the turtles?
Brian Maruca I didn't see any pages in here.
Dave McKenna Very funny! And then one that was sort of funny.
Andrei Molotiu Interesting assortment of stuff. I liked the organic shapes; they reminded me of B. Kliban.
Erik Nebel A lot going on here. At one point, the rocket looks like it's on a banjo. I want a banjo. That certainly is a dangerous planet, though.
J. Oraknabo Ah, these were after Robertson's piece for some reason. I liked this piece-- he starts out reasonable, goes off the deep end... and she holds it together. Nice artwork, too.
David Recine My favorite part, of course, was the Unk story.
Grant Reynolds Yes! Especially the little thing about Jesus, and "Yes, I turned in an application..."
David Robertson I can't tell if I've seen this episode before. The super paint thing seems to have been going on a while...
Matt Silvie Okay, I've finally seen that you're a great satirist. Or maybe I'm just still sore at Milo George for being a fascist punk.
Matt Stewart I don't know about Chut...
George Tarleton I can only assume you and JCE are using these Kirby drawings in some kind of elaborate inside joke.
Dick Troutman I would have opened on Street Angel. It seemed like Pangea (I think it's supposed to be Pangaea) was the main character, but then it turns out that Street Angel is the main character. It was confusing. You sure can draw action, though. And I liked the little humorous touches.

A lot of the pieces suffered from spelling and grammatical errors. Not to nitpick, but this stuff is important. Some of the pieces were impressively long. And a couple were missing from my copy. Seems like about half the number of contributors we've had in the past, too... April 3, 2003
Every morning, the clock radio wakes me up. And every morning, it's the President, spouting off about how victorious we are. The thing that really got me was when he ended his speech to some Marines this morning by saying "Semper fi!" Aren't you only supposed to say this if you are also a Marine? George wasn't even in the military at all, was he? Does Deke count?

Oh well.

On another topic, I'm going to start putting up two Stymied strips a week for a little while, just to see how that works. You can see Stymied at:
Be sure to check out Stymied every Monday and Thursday. April 4, 2003
I rode my bike to work today. Huzzah! I hope it doesn't rain at the time I'm riding home. It can do what it wants for the rest of the day. I think it's between 9 and 10 miles from home to work, but I'm not sure. It took me about 40 minutes. It used to be 50 minutes, on my old bike. I'll have to get one of those trip computers so that I can see how far it really is. In any event, I'm hoping to get some exercise out of this whole deal. Ya hear?

I probably could use some ear flaps, though. April 7, 2003
Okay, random stuff.

We took Luna sailing on Saturday-- no, not on our own sailboat, since we haven't fixed it up yet. We rented a boat. She liked it! We had a good stiff breeze. I think I've maybe found someone who will help me fix up the Sunfish, once I get the paperwork from the guy.

I won't tell you my HotOrNot score, but I will tell you that it's more than one and a half times my Blog HotOrNot score.

And, in the tooting my own horn department... I've been asking people to do me a gigantic favor and vote for Stymied at Top Web Comics. When you get there, there's a "confirm" button-- so make sure you really like Stymied before you go vote. Need a second opinion? There's a review of Stymied on my Reviews page. April 8, 2003
Rode my bike to work again today. 40 minutes door to door. On my old bike, it was 50 minutes. By car, it's 20-30 minutes. So... biking seems to be a viable means of transportation. There's a bike lane most of the way, so I don't have to worry too much about being squeezed off the road. Only trouble is, I forgot my lunch today.

Hey, you should check out www.webcomics.com which has a ton of comic strips by independent artists. You like comic strips, right?

Speaking of comic strips, I've got big plans ahead-- stay tuned!

April 10, 2003
Why does everything I buy break?
What's the deal? April 14, 2003
How come there are no comics artists who live in the South Bay? I bet there are. Why don't we get together and jam like they do in Berkeley? Why let Jesse Reklaw have all the fun?

It's about to rain its ass off, which is mainly why I didn't ride my bike today. April 15, 2003
Rode my bike today. The air was a little cold, so breathing was a little more difficult than otherwise. No flat tire so far, at least.

Hey! You like music? You like refreshments? You like exhibitions of original art? You should check out:
Comikz:
Contemporary Caricature and Sequential Art
1101 Masonic between Haight and Page
San Francisco
April 26 from 5 to 10 PM


Why not come by after Wondercon? I have three comics (ten framed pages) in the show:
Come by! Meet me! Tell me you read about the show in my blog and I'll give you something for free maybe. April 16, 2003
Okay, here it is: my Geek Code.
-----BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK-----
Version: 3.12
GTW/CA/FA/O d-@ s:+ a@>$ C++ U+ P++ L+ !E W++ N- o? K? w O- M+ V PS+(+++) PE Y+ PGP t 5- X+ R tv++ b+ DI++++ D---G e++ h---- r+++ y++++(**)
------END GEEK CODE BLOCK------
You can plug that into a Geek Code Decoder to see what it means, if you want to. April 18, 2003
Biked to work again today. On the way, I saw a sign on a telephone pole. Someone had made the sign by hand with a magic marker on a piece of beige paper. The sign said "Egg rolls for sale" and had an arrow.
Who would buy egg rolls from reading a sign on a telephone pole?
Not too long ago I sent a group of 24 Stymied strips off to a syndicate for consideration. Last night I took another look at the ones I sent. They look rushed. The artwork is sloppy and the writing is thin. Looks like I'm going to have to put together more strips. I also sent extra Stymied strips that have run on the web site here. The ones from the web are better.
Meanwhile, I'm putting something together to submit to the SPX book, and a 2-pager for Big Dumb Fun and I have to get a couple things together for a couple other places too. April 21, 2003
Well, I sent in my submission to the SPX book. Last night I was up until after 1:00 finishing the thing for SPX and then today's Stymied comic. Next, I have to work on a Stymied for Thursday and my submission to Big Dumb Fun.

Didn't ride to work today, but Arcadia and Luna and I rode around at Rancho San Antonio for a couple hours yesterday. What a blast! Based on what I weigh, I think I burn between 40 and 60 calories per mile biking.

When I'm going to sleep, I keep thinking of interesting things that I want to put in this weblog. But by the time I wake up I have forgotten. That bites. April 22, 2003
I wrote another tiny poem last night in my sleep. Here goes:
F YouYou're gone.
And then
You're in my dream again.
So I have to start over
Forgetting you.

You know, sometimes when I'm having an argument with someone I've known a long time, I feel like what I'm saying is obvious and the other person just isn't listening. I feel like the other person has never listened, and that I've been trying for years to say the same thing. And it never works. The other person seems to understand, finally, and the argument ends-- but then later we're arguing the same point again. Year after year.

Then as I was riding my bike to work today I wondered if other people feel this way about me too. April 24, 2003
Biked to work again today. 40 minutes, solid. Even in the rain. I can't seem to get much under that 40-minute mark, but at least it's pretty easy now. When I got to work I wasn't even particularly winded. The rain reminded me of some things I had forgotten since high school:At least I've learned a few lessons since I used to bike in the rain all those years ago. I had fenders installed on my bike so I wouldn't get covered with mud. And I brought a change of clothes to work. And friends, these dry clothes feel so much better today than the dry clothes I wore all day yesterday.

It's weird how I've returned to the way I used to be in high school. I'm biking a lot, drawing comics, doing some programming, and even listening to old records that I haven't played since then. I found The Gates of Lunch by The Deep Freeze Mice, and my old Flies record. Oh, for those of you who don't know, a "record" is a low-density analog content delivery system able to store approximately 50 minutes of audio. April 28, 2003
This past weekend was excellent.

For starters, there was Wondercon. Only place I know of where you can see fat Jedi knights, Penthouse pets, former TV stars, and your favorite comic artists. Here's a picture of some guys in home-made Spider Man shirts posing with some stormtroopers:

There were two Darth Vaders. I shook hands with one Darth Vader, which disappointed me. I mean, he had the whole voice thing, the re-breather sound effect, the whole deal. He was in character. Darth Vader wouldn't shake hands.

So I did a Wondercon-inspired Stymied strip for today.

Met Elvira. She's cool-- we know people in common, it turns out.

The highlight of the show was meeting Sergio Aragonés. I got up to the front of the line and asked him which of his books I should buy. He recommended one, autographed it, and drew a little picture of Groo inside. Then I showed him my portfolio. "Ah! Very neat, very clean," he said.

"Come back later, when there aren't so many people, and we'll chat." So I did. And he gave me a whole portfolio review! What a cool guy.

Later that evening, I went to the Comikz show at the Whitney Young Cultural Center Mansion. Nice. Well-attended, thanks to the promotional efforts of Mr. Rik Livingston. Here are some people looking at my work:

A lot of people said a lot of nice things about my work, and wanted me to sign things for them, and so forth. It was a blast. And now I am tired. April 29, 2003
It's amazing what less of a headwind and more lights in my favor can do. I made it to work in 31 minutes. Now, that made me wonder if perhaps my trip is shorter than I thought. Digging around on MapQuest proves it: it's only about seven and a half miles, not ten. Still, going seven and a half miles in 31 minutes means I averaged 15 miles per hour despite waiting for several red lights. Not bad. So I'm probably burning between 600 and 900 extra calories on the days when I ride.

Anyway, I'm behind on my drawing again. I have to do something for TMCM, an invitation for a party, some character designs for someone's web site, a strip for Webcomics Awareness day, and of course my Stymied strip for Thursday. And I have to do all that this week. Scary! May 1, 2003
Rode my bike today. I think it was around 35-37 minutes. Don't know why it was a little more difficult than Tuesday. It's supposed to rain tonight, so I might have to take it easy on the ride home. I was up late finishing the strip, so I'm tired. That's probably why I was slower today than Tuesday-- but still faster than last week!

I'm really busy at work, really busy at home, got a ton of social engagements coming up, and lots of drawing to do. At least my studio is coming along. Maybe sometime I'll post a picture of it here. I've got a couple of unfinished pages taped to the drawing table right now that I have to work on, and I have to figure out what the hell I'm going to do about this piece I promised Toby Craig. That's it, I'm not taking on any more anthology work until I get out from under this huge pile of work! May 2, 2003
So, I'm driving to work today, and I get to a place where the street is shared with an entrance ramp to Highway 101. I notice they've got the entrace ramp blocked off, and 101 Southbound is closed. Suddenly, the Presidential Motorcade goes by!

Then, I'm on the way back to work from the post office, and all of a sudden the street I'm on is blocked off. I bet it was the President again! He's always making me late! May 9, 2003
Biked again today. Don't know how long it took, because I took a detour to the downtown post office on the way. On First Street, I was keeping up with cars because the traffic was so busy.

Don't know what else to say today. Tired, and I have a buttload of drawing to do. On the plus side, I've done a little scripting so that I can update my cartoon of the week from my cell phone. So if I'm at a convention, or visiting someone without a computer, I can still keep my cartoon fresh as long as I pre-load enough material for the trip. Pretty spiffy!

Oh, and I've put up some sample pages of Voices of Ineptitude. Look near the bottom of the page for links to the samples-- I'll be putting up more soon.

I also have an idea for a great new feature on this site. I won't tell you what it is, but let's just say... I wonder what the main character in my comic is doing right now... Stay tuned! May 12, 2003
Couldn't ride my bike today. Took it into the shop over the weekend because it seemed to have developed a klunking noise in the front brakes-- and they said it needed service. Which means I've already put some wear and tear on it. That's cool, but I also miss my bike. So I'm getting the computer put on it, and I built a storage box out of a toolbox and some bolts. That is all. May 13, 2003
Argh! Bike wasn't ready yesterday! So I had to drive to work. It's supposed to be ready today, so I'll bike home, then bike both to and from work tomorrow, then bike to work on Bike to Work day and decide whether to drive home or not. In any case, on Friday, I have to go to the Bay Area Zine and Mini-Comic Show at the Richmond Art Center, and maybe up to Oakland after that to drop off some framed pages for the Kitchen Sink show at the Liminal Gallery on the 24th. Seems like I'm getting shown a lot this year. The pieces in the show on the 24th are:What am I working on now? A big Oh, That Dead Guy! story for Toby Craig's Engine anthology. You know, at some point I should put together a giant list of all the upcoming anthologies where my work will be appearing this year. It would be a pretty big list. I'm gonna have to take a break from anthologies. Lotta work.

Anyway, back to the bike stuff. I put some bolts and metal flanges on a toolbox to turn it into a luggage trunk that attaches to the rack on the back of my bike. And I'm getting that computer installed. So the bike is turning into a real commute vehicle! I should be able to post the actual distance and some other stats about my commute pretty soon. May 14, 2003
Got my bike back yesterday and rode home, leaving the car at the office. I was getting the suspicion that the computer was calibrated incorrectly, because it was pretty easy for me to cruise along at 16-18 MPH. So I picked out a straight stretch of rode and measured it to be 2.5 miles (to the tenth). At home, I checked MapQuest-- 2.51 miles. So it seems the computer is accurate.

So, here are the stats. The trip is 8.1 miles each way. My average speed last night was 15.9 MPH (not counting the time I was stopped at red lights). I reached a top speed of 22.7 MPH. My average speed this morning was 13.7, partly due to a head wind, and partly because I'm not a morning person. Today I'm going to try biking to group.

The only thing that bothers me about biking is that sometimes my fingers get numb. May 21, 2003
Rode today-- went to the gas station with Arcadia to fill up her tire. The thing was broken, so we had to go to another gas station. Luna liked watching me ride my bike. I think it added 1.9 miles to my trip, but something's wrong with my computer. I have to take the bike in again anyway, because the thumping in the front is back-- I think my headstock is loosening again.

As long as I've got you on the line, make sure you come check out my art on display at the Liminal Gallery in Oakland, starting with the KS3 release party on Saturday at 7:00!

What else? Nothing else. I'm almost done with my submission to Big Dumb Fun and I'm in the middle of my submission to Engine!. Turns out that OM is delayed-- still more time to send submissions, everybody! May 22, 2003
Yesterday, Arcadia and Luna and I went to a Taqueria. Arcadia didn't like her burrito. A homeless guy came up to the table. We didn't have any cash, so at my urging Arcadia gave the guy her burrito. He took the plastic basket too! The restaurant owner said not to worry about it. Luna can't stop talking about the guy that took Mommy's food though.

Rode again today. I'm getting better at dealing with head winds as my cadence gets faster. I was tired, and tempted not to ride, but I want to make sure I get some riding in before the bike shop takes my bike for a few days again. I also want to make sure the bike is clearly exhibiting the problems so that when I take it in they can see what's wrong. My odometer ticked over to 100 miles during this morning's ride.

Yesterday on the way home, some guys in a Honda pulled out right in front of me-- they knew I was there, too. I had to brake so hard that I locked up my rear wheel. That's not cool of them to do that. I am thinking about getting an air horn. May 27, 2003
So. Memorial Day weekend. Had to figure out a comic that was appropriate, figured I'd use Frank since he's dead. I'm also in the middle of a piece featuring Frank for Engine! I had no idea Frank was such a wistful character! Don't know what I mean? You'll just have to read it when it comes out.

We finally painted that one room in our house, the one with the border that had cars and trucks. One room down, the rest of the world to go.

I really wanted to ride my bike today, but the schedule didn't permit it. Luna's not feeling well, and Arcadia's got something to do from 6 to 8 tonight. So, no biking.

I'll bike tomorrow, though. I got the computer replaced, but this one's all in French. It's lucky I know French.

The Kitchen Sink opening night party went fine. I drove Fraser and Tiffany around all night. I got home really late. That is all. May 28, 2003
Biked today. 8.0 miles on the new computer-- an acceptable margin of error (1.2% or so, right?). Every stinkin' light was red. Then when I got to the bike path near work, there were some workmen blocking the whole path, pretty much-- no pylons or sign at the end of the trail. Nothing to warn me that I was going to have to squeeze past a huge truck that was pumping murky liquid out of the ground. They sure don't make it easy to bike in this town.

I don't know why this has turned into a bicycling blog, so I guess I should talk about some other stuff too. Here are some ideas for comics. I'd like to draw them some time in the future when I have time:But that's assuming I have time. I've been really overcommitted lately, and I've been rushing my work. Jesse Reklaw says I'm not a good inker, but what he doesn't realize is that I draw on the sofa in front of the TV in between toddler care and other domestic responsibilities. It's all I can do to get a few minutes at a time without interruption-- and when I'm on a deadline, I have to haul ass on whatever I'm drawing. My pencilling is the same way-- I only pencil layouts, essentially, and then I "fix it in the inking." Once I have a little less on my plate, my pencils will get more finished, and my inks will look better. Gotta slow down. Gotta draw more.

Biking is all about speed and control. Drawing is all about control and speed. May 29, 2003
8.1 miles today, so maybe the computer's accurate after all. Is it possible that I'm varying my trip by a percent just by taking corners differently? I don't know. A couple years ago, I was wondering: If you have a route that you like to walk, how accurately can you measure that distance with your car's odometer? In other words, does it make a difference that you walk on the sidewalk but drive on the street? Are the distances different? I thought about it. The center of the car is probably 12-18 feet out from the sidewalk. So if you drive around the block, the car goes an extra 24-36 feet per side-- something like 100-140 extra feet. But if you cross streets when you walk, that distance makes up for the extra because both you and the car are crossing the street. So if you walk around a "big block" of 4 blocks, it's still only an extra 100-140 feet total. And if you walk in some other pattern, then some of the "extra" isn't extra because you're crossing the street and making up for the distance between the sidewalk and where the car is.

Okay, back on biking. Today, on level ground with no discernible wind I got up to 29.1 MPH. That's my current record. I'd like to be able to cruise at 30, but I don't know if that'll happen. With the gearing on my bike, that would be a pretty frenetic cadence. I don't know, I kind of feel like I'm in better shape than I was in high school, but that seems just wrong to me.

Yesterday, I decided to bike to the clothing store. (Yes, I know, that sounds like a sentence from an "English as a Second Language" book). So I whipped out my trusty map of local bike trails. Guess what? It's a big lie! There are trails that don't connect, trails that are closed, things that just aren't there! So, for one thing, I ended up going several miles out of the way. What should have been about a 6 or 7 mile trip was 12 or 13 miles. I also ended up on major streets, once the bike trails turned out to be closed. But I finally got there (went through a drive-thru on the way) and bought some space shoes.

Finally, I thought of a new aphorism today: There's so much to learn... and so many idiots. And I don't think I've posted this one yet: Garbage in is not the only way to get garbage out.

That is all. May 31, 2003
I'm in LA. We drove down yesterday. I have a sore throat. We're here for a party. We're going to a Little League game in a few minutes. I brought my portable drawing kit so I can meet some deadlines on Sunday. That is all for now. June 1, 2003
Last night, we were driving back from Trader Vic's. We were on Mulholland, and it was a little foggy. Arcadia asked me to slow down because of the mist. Then the mist disappeared. "Or I could make the fog go away," I said.

Then we came around a curve and there was a car on the opposite shoulder, just in flames. Fully blazing. The fire had obviously started in the cabin, not the engine compartment-- and the fire was too big to tell if anyone was in there. I got out and tried to call 911, but got a busy signal. People kept stopping, asking if we were calling 911, then driving on. One guy who might have been a ranger stopped and tried to fight it with an extinguisher-- but it was too big.

It was surreal-- it was quiet, and there were no sirens in the distance. No one was responding, here in the middle of LA. Just a car on fire on a quiet night.

The thing that struck me was that as the electrical system melted here and there, things on the car would light up for a few seconds-- one marker light here, a headlamp there, a turn signal. Then the horn started blaring. It went off for a few minutes, as though the car were screaming. Then it stopped. The fire started to spread to the back end of the car, and I thought to myself, "I've got my whole family here, what if this thing blows up?"

So we drove down the hill. June 3, 2003
So we were at Denny's in Harris Ranch last night. This old guy is sitting in the other booth, and he says to the waitress: "What do you have to eat for us old folks?" and she tells him a bunch of stuff. So then he says he'll have the pot roast, but "You can keep the cucumbers."

"You don't like them?" she says.

"They don't like me," he says. He says that when he was fourteen, suddenly he couldn't eat honeydew melons, canteloupes, or cucumbers.

"I was in Phoenix one time," says the old guy, "and this one fellow bet me twenty-five dollars I could eat some cucumbers. I told him I couldn't, I'd get a fever and cramps. But he put sour cream on them, and he was right. I could eat them. For some reason, the sour cream interacts with them and I don't get cramps. The fellow says 'You do not have to pay me the money; once I was just like you!' But I don't like 'em with sour cream."

So, what medical condition would cause someone to be unable to eat cucumbers without sour cream? June 4, 2003
Rode today. Don't know how I did-- 35 minutes or so, I think. I didn't push too hard, because it's been 4 or 5 days. No cucumber people, no exploding cars. Just a quiet ride.

Oh, except for one thing. On 6th street, there's one place near a couple of houses where there's this high-pitched squealing or whistling noise. You know how, when you turn on the television, there's a high-pitched whine? It's like that, but really loud and cyclic. It's like WheeeeeooO! WheeeeeooO! Over and over again.

What could it be? June 5, 2003
Hey! My archive of cartoons and comics is now Searchable! So search to your heart's content.

I had something really profound I was gonna put in my blog today, but I forgot what it is. June 9, 2003
Seems like my cruising speed has gotten faster. I can now maintain about 20-22 MPH most of the time, depending on the wind and whether I'm on level ground. Total pedaling time was 30:28 today, so I'm going to guess it took me between 34-37 minutes to get to work, what with all the traffic lights. But I don't know. I forgot to check. I need to get a water bottle cage though, so that I can bring my own refreshments on the trip.

So, what else is new? Nothing. My brother's getting married in a couple weeks. My parents will be here a week from tomorrow. I have a lot of stuff to do to the house to get ready, and a ton of drawing work to do. I'm assuming my time will be limited next week.

How are people finding my site? By searching, of course. What are the most popular searches?I've got to remember to put some drawings of hairy women on my site.

That is all. June 10, 2003
Finally, at long last, the Games page has been updated. It's the new Stymied Webcam! It's so cool! You can watch the main character work. Keep in mind that he is on Pacific time, and he works from about 9 to 5. He takes an hour for lunch most of the time, and sometimes a couple breaks during the day. So if sometimes he's not there, just check back again later. June 12, 2003
You should really check out Sad Salvation. It's a website (and blog) by my good friend Rich.

I'm tired today. My dad went into the hospital unexpectedly for an appendectomy last night, so I was up late talking to my mom. Then I had to draw a comic strip. So I'm tired.

That is all. June 13, 2003
So, I have this internal dialog with myself when I'm biking. I always imagine that everyone in every car is annoyed just because there's a bike on the road. I have imaginary conversations with the drivers. They're all antagonistic in my mind. It's like:

Why don't you ride on the sidewalk?The law says I have to ride on the street.Well, why don't you at least ride closer to the curb?I don't want to get hit by someone opening a car door.Well you're in my way!Actually, bikes were considered road vehicles before the car was invented...

...and so on. These conversations always paint the driver as aggressive and stupid, and me as smart and in the right. I don't know, maybe I'm dealing with the tension and fear you get from sharing the road with huge objects moving at lethal speed. Or maybe I am practicing, in the hope that I have some battle of words with a motorist. I guess a more realistic thing to practice is cardio fitness so that he'll tire before I will as we punch each other. I don't know.

But then again, who needs that kind of drama? It's enough just to get to ride my bike around town. I didn't ride much at all for about ten years, and now I've gotten back into it to the point where I feel my maximum range is basically unlimited. Isn't that enough?

Dad sounds better today on the phone than he did yesterday. June 24, 2003
Okay, my brother's married now. My parents and siblings came to California for the wedding. It's been a long week for everyone, but it was a lot of fun. My dad is recuperating from his appendectomy. When he showed up at the house, I gave him a belated Father's Day present:

I'm tired (and I'm at work) so I'm just going to write for a minute here. More stuff later, I hope. I wanted to make sure I put up a picture of the cake that Fraser and Tiffany had for their wedding. It's a truly amazing cake!

I guess they're in Las Vegas now. Here's Fraser putting the garter on Tiffany. They didn't tell anyone they were about to do this, so it almost went un-photographed, but I managed to get a blurry shot on my digital camera.

Anyway, that's about it for now. June 25, 2003
Okay, biked today. On the order of 33 1/2 minutes. Bike computer says I was rolling for 32 minutes 6 seconds. So, sounds like I was stopped at lights for a minute and a half-- although that doesn't count the lights I slowed down for, which turned green before I completely stopped. It felt difficult today-- last week, I biked around one day for about 12 1/2 miles, but I didn't do the 3 days of biking to work thing. So it was tough to get back into it. But 33 and a half minutes is pretty good, so I must not have lost all the progress I've made.

I weighed myself at Macy's last week. There were 4 scales. Two of them said I weighed 192, and the other two said I weighed 213. So I don't know what to think. I guess I shouldn't care.

Today as I was biking to work, I was on the little path next to the freeway, and a woman in a Saturn wagon was stopped there on the shoulder talking on a cell phone. I could have stopped, and I would have been only a few feet away from her. It makes you think about how even though we're all isolated from each other, we pass so close by-- here are cars full of people who don't even see each other, but they're all traveling together. June 26, 2003
Drove today. It's hot. Don't know what else to say. Need more coffee maybe. As usual, I had a bunch of thoughts I was going to put in here, but I forgot all of them. Was up late drawing Stymied again, maybe that's why. June 27, 2003
Third "Spare the Air" day in a row. It's really hot out. I rode my bike. As usual, I thought of a lot of interesting stuff to write about here, and can't remember any of it. And now I have to figure out how to get lunch. It's supposed to be around 100 degrees (that's Fahrenheit, or course) so I don't want to have to ride too far. I don't have a water bottle yet for my bike. I know, I know, shut up...

I wonder if kids who live in the town of Milford just laugh and laugh all day long... or if they all have "Got MILF?" shirts at least.

I wonder if it's going to be hot all summer.

I wonder what I'll do for the Fourth of July; I think at least we could use bikes to our advantage so as not to be stuck in traffic for so long.

I feel like I should be drawing all the time, but to tell you the truth I get lazy. I have drawing stuff with me, at least a minimal set of tools, wherever I go. I mean wherever. When I'm biking, I could stop and draw if I wanted to. But do I?

For a little while, I was drawing at stoplights in my car, just drawing whatever came to mind. I should draw more. Draw more draw more, draw more!

I guess that's enough for today. July 1, 2003
Okay, the socks thing. I'm used to socks disappearing. One time, for Christmas, my sister-in-law gave me a package of 12 pairs of really nice beige socks. They were all the same, so I could just pick any two and get a pair. But of course, one by one, they disappeared. I have one left now. And by the way, I haven't been to a laundromat for ten years-- this all happened inside the house! Where are the socks? So that's bad enough. But where the hell are all the unfamiliar socks coming from? I keep finding socks in my drawer that don't belong to anyone in the house. What is going on with this!?

When I started riding to work, I'd wear my brown jacket or a t-shirt. No problem. I'd wave or ding my bell whenever I saw someone else on a bike. Kind of a polite gesture of community or recognition, right? Never got a response. Not ever. Today I was riding a long and saw another biker for the first time since I started wearing my new yellow "bike jersey." He gave me the "pretend my hand is a gun" wave. So I guess I'm in the club, now. July 3, 2003
Rode today. Seemed like a slow ride-- am I tired, or was it just windy? I don't know. Maybe I've hit a plateau. Then again, I was up late finishing today's comic strip. And I moved into a new cubicle at work FNAR, so maybe I'm exhausted from the grueling hard labor of lifting all those heavy things-- binders, stapler, coffee cup...

At the end of the day, I saw someone else leaving. A guy I knew. Used to sit near me, but he got moved before I did. So I said, "Where are you sitting these days?" He made that "I didn't hear anything" face-- you know, look into the distance and sigh, as if you're thinking about something and looking for your car in the parking lot. The "preoccupied" look. Or maybe I just imagined it. So, does he not like me? Or is it all in my mind?

Well, what I figured out is that there's no way to know. If I say "Gee, I don't think Herb likes me," or tell Herb myself that I don't think he likes me, then it will be denied regardless. No one would say, "no, you're right, I don't like you." Etiquette makes it hard to tell if people really don't like you.

Not that I care-- I don't work in the same group as Herb anyway. Interesting question, anyway. Oh, and Herb isn't his real name. His real name is Marvin. July 7, 2003
When I was a little kid, maybe 4 or 5 years old, I told my Dad I thought they should have fireworks that exploded in the shape of the American flag. He explained that since explosions are roughly spherical it would never be possible. Well, this year in San Jose, there were smiley face fireworks and one firework that looked like a circle with an equilateral triangle inscribed in it. I think that's progress. Maybe I'll get my wish within my lifetime after all. The fireworks this year were really great. Fraser and Tiffany came down from San Francisco, and the five of us rode bikes downtown to see the display. The place was packed, but we got out of there okay because we didn't have a car to deal with. We're so smart. July 11, 2003
I'm tired.

I was up until 2 am last night, and 3 am the night before, working on a submission. I won't tell you what it's for right now. I'm too tired to decide whether it matters if I tell you. But it came out pretty well, especially considering how I crammed all that artwork into just two days of about 9 pm to 2 am, working in front of the TV. The sad thing is that the writing is better than a lot of the Stymied strips, and I wrote all the gags in about 15 minutes. So I guess I'll have to re-visit my writing technique on old Stymied there.

So, this week, not counting the aforementioned submission, I've sent stuff to MAD, The New Yorker, King Features, some guy named Izzy, and The Comics Interpreter. Plus I've been sending stuff to hella anthologies this year, and doing Stymied rain or shine. I've been really busy! And I have two other strip ideas I should be developing, if I weren't spending all my time getting ready to edit VOI (now tentatively called Arrgh). Not to mention my much-neglected graphic novel, a second play that I've been trying to start for two years, and more comic pages about our troubles with the house. I just don't have enough time to do all the things I need to do.

Tonight, I'm going to just chill out. A jam session with the TiVo band (I'm the bassist) and then maybe at home we'll have a bottle of wine and watch TV. No drawing tonight, I promise... July 14, 2003
Okay, rode to work today. I hope that helps me get over this stupid cough. My average speed is way down, which is frustrating. Lot of work to do. Tired. Been fixing stuff at the house, getting about half as much drawing done as I should, spending too much money. Argh.

What the heck, that's all for now.